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How To Answer the Phone

"Incontinence Hotline--Can you hold, please?"

Sex at Work

Sex at work--David Letterman does it. He's from the "We're all adults here" school of workplace ethics. Many college deans are against it. They're from the "Zero Tolerance" school of workplace ethics. So, who's right? Me, I'm a pro-sex, anti-sexual-harassment kind of guy. In other words, "It's all fun and games till somebody looses a spouse." Here are some forms of sexual behavior that are always over the line:

• If your coworkers are farm animals, and you have sex with them, you are over the line.
• If you're a man and yell "Nice rack, baby!" to your female coworker at the Christmas party, you are over the line. If she's wearing a Rudolph nose and giant antlers, she was asking for it.
• If you are at a business function and whisper to your secretary, "That dress looks lovely on you." That's okay. If you are in the office and yell, "Oochy, mama! You gonna pop outa dat thang, girl," you are over the line. 
• If you hold up two softballs, and ask a female employee if she wants to to "play ball," you are over the line. If you are the coach of the company softball team, hold up two balls and tell you All-State-Women's-High-School-Champion pitcher, "You're gonna need these," that's okay.
• If you wake up in bed with the bosses wife, that's over the line. If you roll over the other way and find the boss smiling to you, you're probably okay.

I hope these examples make these deep waters a little easier to navigate.

Bubble Planner is Cool and Effective

The Bubble Planner uses classic brain storming techniques to make organizing your life easier. I first learned about these techniques from my wife's middle school classroom (she's a teacher). She was teaching the students to write using bubble maps, spider maps, double bubbles, and more (here is a free bubble map link for teachers). Being a visual person, and a writer, I thought these things were great. I still use them for planning my day. The busier I am, the more likely I am to bubble it out. It's just so much easier to group all my calls together, all my errands together, all my meetings together and so on. Here are some more bubble designs for thinking. For more information on buying a planner, go to Bubble Planner dot com.

Rodney Robbins says, "The Secret to Success is to ..."

Rodney Robbins here. I realized today there is one tip missing from my booklet "Rodney's 52 Ways to Impress Your Boss--Without Sucking Up!" I kind of laid this one between the lines, but I'd like you to have the secret straight up, so here goes:

"The secret for making people happy is to give them what they want."

Some of you are thinking, "Duh!" but so often we feel like the boss shouldn't expect us to work overtime, know what he is thinking or get him coffee. We don't think it's fair our kids or parents want our time, our attention or some stupid thing that makes no sense to us at all. Well, here it is folks, it makes sense to THEM! So, if it's legal and safe, I say, give 'em what they want!

It's a powerful concept. Million dollars fortunes are based on this one simple idea. Marriages have been saved by this new way of thinking. Lives have been turned around and lifted out of despair.

Next time, How to have a generous heart toward YOURSELF.

Contact Rodney Robbins here.

You Think You Got Problems?

Just remember this, no problem is too big to ignore.

Here is a Tip--Know When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

When the boss is on a rampage is usually a good time to keep your mouth shut--he's probably so irrational that setting him straight will make him charge straight at you.

When you are hungry, cold, cranky and tired is a good time to shut up and keep your head down--your verbal judo may be at a low point, so there is no sense getting yourself thrown off the mat.

During a crisis is often times, but not always, a good time to keep quiet--unless you are damned sure you see the problem and have a track record of being right under pressure--then, speak up with conviction!

A great time to keep your mouth shut is when you have no earthly idea what in the flock the sheep are up to. Crying wolf about the Saint Bernard sent to rescue you is only going to make you look like an idiot.

The most important time to keep your mouth shut right after you've retrieved the baby from the bus. You'll have an almost overwhelming need to confess that you forgot the baby but ran three blocks and caught the bus just as an old Italian lady with a mole was bringing the bassinet up to the bus driver. My advice is, don't say a word! You know you did it. God knows it. The little old Italian lady knows it. That's enough, so keep your mouth shut! If you just "gots to say sometin," smile and say, "Great morning. Isn't it?" then pick up the baby and walk away fast.

Stop Worrying and Get Back to Work

I swear--people will worry about anything! Am I going to be laid off? What does the boss think of me? How come she gets longer breaks than I get? I wonder if that itch is contagious? It's no wonder we can't get anything done--our brains won't shut off. I say, to heck with it!

• You'll be laid off, or you won't, and there is not much you can do about it.
• Chances are, your boss doesn't think much about you at all. If the boss is leaving you alone, that's probably a good thing.
• Life is too freaking short to worry that someone else might have higher status, or own more stuff than you. Let it go, or learn to enjoy the misery.
• If you've got an funny itch, see a doctor. I hear they've got some new antibiotics that work really well.

I'm not saying it is EASY to stop worrying--I've had plenty of things to worry about in my own life--I'm just saying it is worth learning more about. Life is better when you learn to, as we say here in the Carolinas, "Put that frog in your pocket."

To Boost Performance, Take a Vacation

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm not real impressed by someone who never takes time off. It makes me think they lack imagination, or there is something wrong with their finances or their personal life. Maybe I just like to hear people's stories when they come back, but I like it when the people around me go on vacation. Of course, I like it even more when I go on vacation! I'll tell you more about my motorcycle trip to the Blue Ridge next time.

A Concrete Suggestion

Do you really want to impress the boss without sucking up? Go. Have a good time. Take lots of pictures. Just don't waste the whole day forcing your co-workers to look at 100 stills and 7 videos on your itty-bitty cell phone. Instead, winnow your pictures down to just 3-5 shots that really capture the spirit of your journey, the people you met or the fantastic things you saw. Use your computer to put these few shots onto one sheet of paper. Share your vacation story with a brief show and tell. I did say BRIEF, didn't I? That way, you look like a role model instead of a drone, people get to see you in a different light, and everyone gets to share in your good time.

Don't Do This

This is a video of what happens when you get in over your head and panic. Sure, it's about motorcycles, but it's very easy to do the same thing when your job is on the line ... you know, like when there are no order coming in, when half the staff has already been laid off, or when rumors start flying. The two Harley-Davidson riders in this video lost concentration and forgot to steer their bikes. That doesn't work well on a curvy back road. I ride, been riding for 25 years, and it looks to me like both riders could have made the turn, if they hadn't panicked and forgotten to steer their bikes. (Good thing they had friends around.) For you and me, in this unstable job market, "steering the bike" means going to work at your job, or going to work looking for a job. Keep that in mind.

Rodney Robbins, Secrets of an Author Artist

Rodney Robbins, Over Sharing is Good

1. Don’t tell anyone I have a history of crashing motor bikes. It started when I was little. I crashed a friend’s mini-bike when I panicked and pegged the throttle. Then I dropped a buddy’s bike in the parking lot after high school graduation because I dumped the clutch. Since I’m a slow learner, I also dropped my first motorcycle (a super-moto) and slid in the gravel and dropped my latest bike (a maxi-scooter) with my mom on the back.
2. I clip my nails so close, I have to polish the bones on the ends of my fingers.
3. While swimming at a lake one summer, I got caught in some weeds, and almost drowned because the exertion pushed me into a paralysis attack. That’s was a bad thing.
4. For me, the best time to write is early in the day when my brain is awake, but my body isn’t. That way, I’m too week to get up or move anything but my fingers, so I might was well just sit there and type.
5. My biggest academic screw-up was failing out of senior English class after the first day. The teacher wanted to do a little "easy review," and I had no earthly idea what she was talking about. Why would I diagram a sentence? It’s not a house boat! Either the sentence says what you want it to say, or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, change the darned thing! I think God invented English grammar to give people with OCD something to worry about.
6. The stupidest thing I ever did was to provoke paralysis attacks to get back at my doctor--and then not go to the ER.
7. The biggest pain in my backside is not being able to eat wheat! No bread. No gravy. No fried chicken. No cookies, crackers, rolls or pastry unless it’s made by Gluten Free elves and blessed by Saint Honorius (patron saint of bakers). I still eat out, but I think every waiter and waitress in North Carolina has heard my entire medical history and food allergy list at least once.
8. I’m not a bad actor, but my stillness works better on film than on stage. 
9. Whining gives me headaches. Red wine gives me migraines. The whine of a 1,300 cc four cylinder motorcycle engine gives me tickets. 
10. In my entire life, I don’t think I ever beat my father at a shooting match. Not once. Pistols or rifles--he was the best. If he was still here today, I’d let him win one more time.